In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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