I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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