Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
