well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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