Duck Duck Cougar?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
