girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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