I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
