True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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