I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
