i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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