i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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