i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
