Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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