Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
