fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
