Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
