Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
