I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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