hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
