How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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