I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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