She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
