yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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