why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
