That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sober January is a disaster.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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