i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
