so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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