So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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