i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
