I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
