seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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