I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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