You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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