Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Boobs are out for the taking
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
