New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
