You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
