I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If its not for food we ain't going out.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
