If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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