I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
