You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
