yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
handjob tips. give me some.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
