Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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