my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
