In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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