I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
