Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
