Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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