She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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