a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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