She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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