Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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