hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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