I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
His hands were made for my vagina.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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