"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
