white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
